RAISE UP MY FLOWERS AND GROW!

Now is the perfect time to live in the country. Even though the trees still have no leaves, and the ground is still wet. You can't wait to go outside and sip on your drink. Whether it is a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. This the time that the horses get a little extra bounce in their step. The cows are sounding out their mating calls. Birds are trying to find that perfect tree to hang out in.

It was in the 70's and 80's this weekend. I took my Better Homes and Garden Magizine and headed to the back with my cup of coffee. The cover was so appropriate for this day - SPRING! Now, I had all intentions of sitting in the sun and enjoying this time. HOWEVER, Frank had another idea in mind! My wonderful morning turned into a weekend of yard work! I do have to state that he did give me the opportunity to finish off the cup of coffee before bringing out the riding lawn mower. Now staring at me are my dead flower beds, in need of some weeding.

I HAVE A BLACK THUMB! I can not grow a thing. My grandmother gave me an aloe vera plant and said there was nothing to it - just sit it out and grow it. That died.... Then she gave me a cactus - same instructions... same results - DIED! So, now i've moved to the best place to grow anything. At least that's what they tell me. Wharton has "Caney Creek Soil". This town has grass farms all over the place and they are so beautiful, even green in the winter! Therefore, last year I spent a pretty penny getting trying to get the benefits that come with this land. Once again, the plants died!

Now some would say, this was your first time - try again. I say, I spent hundreds of dollars and need to throw in the towel. But, I'm jealous of my neighbors. Granted they own a flower shop.. but I want it in my yard. I want the pictures in the Better Homes and Garden! Currently, I'm listening to my podcast of my favorite preacher.... Elijah advised his people to dance around the alter and shout loud to God. So, I'm headed outside to dance around my flower beds and shout to God..... RAISE UP MY FLOWERS AND GROW!!!!

Your Frog just may be your PRINCE!

It's 10:30pm. I'm on glass of wine #3, 1 cooking the steaks, 1 watching tv and 1 writing this blog. Today, happens to be my 2nd anniversary (wedding - if you didn't guess). So, as a mom I cooked the steaks on the grill. Made scallopped potatoes and ceasar salad.

My husband (god bless his soul) has been married many times...i'm number 4. He and his family have decided that I'm wife number 5 because he had a live in "nanny" that he slept with for 4 years. I"ll get to that shit later. He believes that he has a 5 year curse. I keep asking exactly when does the curse begin. Does it begin from the first email he sent me? Or the first (bad) blind date we went on? Or the actual date we got married ..... which is a whole story in it's self!

I believe for the sake of sanity we are starting from the first date (becuase there was a 2 month span between 1st email and blind date). Therefore, I'm at year number 4! This is the pivitol point - Will I make the grade..cut the cheese...or get the boot!?!?!

I continually state it was a blind date, but I must admit that we met via Match.com - the dating service. He sent me the most precious email that only a person who is bearing their soul would write. Basically, my husband, the fisherman loves to fish. In his email to me he writes me "I'm throwing my net onto the side where my guide (God) is telling me to and I ask myself, is she the one you want me to catch?"

Wouldn't it be nice to just go out on a deep see fishing trip, throw your net out and find your wife? Looking through all the women like we were makrel flopping about.... OOO...there's one....oooo...oh no that is a better one!

Back to our first date. It was not a 10 to say the least. Shown to the table, shake hands, then a hug, order drinks..... watching for the chips and queso....then BAM! He says "I am here because I want to get married! I don't want to waste time. I hate dating. What do you think?" Thank god the margarita's had already arrived!!! Well of course I want to get married. Single parenthood is shit work and even harder with out child support (both physcially and financially). WOW! now what was going to be our next conversation? I'm a Texan and I can talk to a tree! Therefore, I pulled something off that damn ol tree and the night proceeded.

Dinner is served, check is presented and now time for the "GRAND EXIT". He accompanies me to the the car, like a gentleman should do. Then way out of left feild the pop up ball comes flying down at me. Catches me with his hands on both sides of my face and plants the meanest, yuckiest, nastiest kiss every known to man kind. I had my cell on, already dialing my girlfriend this the whole story, then.....BAM! call on hold......

I did recover, where I left the restraunt and proceeded directly to the bar that my girls hung out at. All that happened before nine. Ladies free entrance till 10:00... I was on the road to another single individual!

Problem being, I had 2 tickets to the Astro's Play-offs. Great seats and no one to take. So Mr. Frank made the grade for the call. If I hadn't had anyone to call who knows where this story would have ended. Maybe I could have been the widow of Ken Caminetti with his bastard son! Man he was a hunk! But stupiter as they come.... At the game, I happened to get very sick prior and during the game. I had to go back and forth to the bathroom. On my last time out, he was standing there asking a girl to go in and find me and help me.... Ahhhhh.... he really was scared that something was wrong. After that, everything is as such - Married 2 years today (at least by a preacher), court paperwork took another 7 months later! (again another story)

This is my valentine to all the girls our there - Your Frog may just be your Prince!!

Now glass #4!

Go Grease Light'n

Anyone remember the days of skating to the sounds of John Travolta.... "Go grease lightin, go till the gettins right. GREASE LIGHTING - GO GREASE LIGHTING..."? Shaking your hips, and doing the arm movements.

My sisters and I attended a birthday party for our 7 year old neice last night. It seems as though our bodies automatically transform into the teenager from years past - at least our minds do. Our body on the other hand, well... that is a different story. Today, I'm living on advil and vodka.

We've got tickets to the hockey game in Houston tonight. I'm trying to decide if I want to take my flask with me. Frank is telling me that I have to drive there and back home. I might have him flip for it!

UNCOMFORTABLE!

So after 2 years of avoiding it. I finally made it to the doctor for my "well woman" exam. It's always a delightful event that every woman wants to experience!

I'm laying on the table and look up to see that the doctor has disguised the light with some kind of shield thing that had butterflies, flowers, sun and bees. I'm assuming it is some attempt to "lighten the situation". Anyway... the doctor starts his examination... then my cell phone rings..."KISS ME IN THE DARK, ROLL ME THROUGH THE NIGHT, HOLD ME LIKE YOU NEVER WANT TO LET GO! HIT ME WITH YOUR HEART, LET YOUR SKIN TALK TO MY SOUL!"

At that point, the examination was over!

Life is always greener on the other side

At least that's what I've been told. As a military brat, I saw a lot of the US. But Texas was always home. Lived in the same house for almost 20 years (my mother and her sister live there currenly and plan to die there). In the mornings, you set out on the front porch and smell of Rainbo bread baking. Turn the other direction and Maxwell house was grindig up. But most importantly the heart of Downtown Houston was smack dag right in your face. I lived 4 miles from the heart and sole the Houston, and I couldn't wait to get out!

I just wanted to move to a town that had 100 people there, everyone new your name, and even your dog's name. Marriage number 2 took to small town Texas, poplulation 9,127....SALUATE!!! There are 3 schools, elementary, jr high, and high school. All the schools have to share the buses. Which makes it difficult for my 2nd grader to fight over the seat he wants against a junior higher. Same goes for my 15 year old.

We have two places to grocery shop - Walmart (which I'm boycotting - I'll get to that later) and HEB. Therefore, all trips to HEB are over 1 hour long just for catching up on the gossip. Our only place to buy a dress is Palais Royal, and it closes at 6:00pm. The latest a restraunt stays open is 11:00. I"ve yet to find a bar - but I'm activally looking. Therefore, my alcohol consupmtion is limited to the wine on the HEB shelf. I LOVE MY WINE! I'm want to send a case to the person who wrote that having a glass of wine a day is good for you. I just want him to re-write it say at 2-3 glasses a day. That way, I know I"d get a better good nights sleep thanks to the snoring husband.

Growing up, my BFF and I would ride our bicyle to the Downtown library. It has over 5 floors of diversity. We would find an empty aisle and read our latest find. At that time, anything that had to do with love making and living the life of a swinging single woman was what we were after. Now of course, those books never left the library. We hid them in the same corner we were sitting at so that we could finish it the next day. Sidney Sheldon and Harold Robbins put lots in our brains. My most memorable books are "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" and "Master of the Game".

But after living with over 1 million people for 35 years, I wanted peace and quite. That's what I've got. But the grass is not as green as I had imagined. Now my morning I wake to the sound of the Rooster crowing. I'm looking for that damn rooster - his day is coming - the bb gun is loaded and ready to go.

Time for my 1 BIG glass of wine.
lil'l Red.